Schools are talking about it. Teens are talking about it. Adults are talking about it.

13 Reasons Why (13RW) was released directly to Netflix this month and immediately became a cultural phenomenon. Within 30 days of being released, it has become the #1 streamed show on Netflix, the most mentioned show on Twitter, and is bringing back to light a horrifying topic: suicide.

If you’re not familiar with 13RW, it is a young adult novel by Jay Asher that was first published in 2007. It tells the story of high school student Hannah Baker who takes her own life but leaves behind 13 cassette tapes delivered to the 13 people she sees as responsible for her suicide. Bullying, gossip, betrayal, rape, and cowardice by her peers all contribute to her anguish along with some ineptness by the adults around her. It’s the people who committed these acts that become the target of her last words, words that expose and condemn.

We (Parker & Grant) have been asked a lot about the show, and it’s not been an easy conversation.

At its best, 13RW brings to light the significant issues that ambush our teenagers, some may even say our society. The pain is real. The pain is deep.

At its worst, the show romanticizes suicide as a poetic option to end pain, get revenge, and have the last word.

So what are we supposed to do with it?

The decision to watch the show or not is ultimately up to you as an adult. Do your research on the show. Know that it is graphic. It is intense. It is NOT comfortable watching. There is little left to the imagination. It is NOT for kids. It could be argued that it is not for younger teens as well. Viewers need to be able to articulate and critique what they have seen.

The show sends mixed messages. Does it romanticize suicide? It absolutely could be seen that way. The directors seem more focused on ‘just telling the story’ than they are providing a hopeful alternative to suicide. The show is well-done from a production/acting perspective, but it is hard to watch. It’s moving and dramatic, but it’s not hopeful or positive. It is provocative and shocking, but it’s not meant to be mindlessly consumed as entertainment.

If you have a history of depression or have dealt with suicide, please proceed with caution. If your teens are allowed to watch it, you should, at the least, talk with them about it. Ask them what they think the message of the series is, what they think should have been done. Ask them to come up with a plan of how they should deal with those issues if they should ever come up in their own life.

We also want to offer the following thoughts to help you do exactly that, to engage in meaningful conversations about the show. It is important to be prepared to discuss the issues raised from a Christ-centered perspective. As popular as the show is, you may need to be ready to give a ‘different perspective.’

Each person has a story.
13RW shows us how each of the stories are connected and how our interaction with others matters. We have an impact – good or bad. As Christ-followers, we are called to engage redemptively with others, something that is sadly missing in 13RW.

Matthew 22:37-39
And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

A person’s worth shouldn’t be defined by others.
All too often, we allow our worth to be determined by others or by what we can’t do. 13RW shows this reality in horrifying detail. It also shows the ineptness of the world’s value system. Hannah Baker never understands how valuable she is to the Father. She doesn’t see how she was wonderfully and fearfully made. She never realizes that she had the chance to be a new creation. It’s a huge miss of the show but a very true reality of our world.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

There is always hope.
Christ wants to bring restoration to those in despair. Suicide never brings restoration or redemption. It only brings more pain and leaves others to cope with the aftermath. It is an eternal choice for a temporal struggle.

The Resurrection is the hope that our world needs. Jesus’ triumph over death ensures that His followers can live forever with Him in a place free from evil. Though Earth is crumbling around us as a result of sin, Heaven will be a place of rejoicing because there will be no more pain, no more tears, and no more sorrow.

Obviously, 13RW wasn’t written from a Christian worldview. To expect that would be unfair of the material. However, as a close friend told us, “I kept watching. Thinking someway, somehow, there was going to be something positive come out of this. And then it never does.”

Psalm 34:17-20
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Revelation 21:4
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Resources:
National Suicide Hotline – 1-800-273-8255